I Feel Like There’s More Purpose

“I close my eyes and contemplate on why I chose to be great
I found myself tryin’ to escape from where I’m ‘posed to be safe
Or maybe I should pray like I’m supposed to be saved
Sometimes I feel like gettin’ even but I chose to behave
I’m mentally locked in a prison and I need bail
But the internet’ll kill me quicker than the streets will
And if that shit doesn’t kill me then the police will
Or maybe all the refills, or the e pills, or the lean will
I wish I was more flourished
I wish I had more courage
I feel like there’s more purpose
And maybe it’s all worth it
I wanna keep on learnin’
But I couldn’t be more nervous
When I keep lookin’ for answers and I gotta keep on searchin’
The tables keep on turnin’
Tryna call up to Jesus, but the phone keep on ringin’
I think I need more service
The calls seem more urgent
And all I see is more murders
The soldiers keep on servin’
I wonder if it’s all worth it, I wonder”

I Prevail Ft. Joyner Lucas – DOA

Dead On Arrival

Before I get into the meat of this post I want to be clear. This post is going to be heavy on legitimate information. A lot of words, a lot of my thoughts combined with factual information I have access to. It’s going to have quotes, probably several of them. It’s going to have names. It’s going show consequences and the LACK of consequences. While I’d never demand you to read the entirety of it, I truly hope you take the time to today. This impacts all of us and I won’t sit quietly. Sure it may mean some people view me differently but I will be honest, if what I say here makes you look at me in some other way, please see yourself out of this conversation. Thank you.

First off I’m sorry it’s been quiet here. I just haven’t been in the blogging mindset for a while and honestly I don’t know that I am now or when I will be. But what I do know is that now is not the time for silence. So even if I’m not sure, I know that saying nothing will accomplish nothing. I’ll do my best to make sure my words come out right and make sense because this is a very important issue in our world, not only today, but for the last couple of hundred years. It’s a disgrace that we have to still see it happening.

I wasn’t born into privilege. At least not any beyond the color of my skin. Please do not think that I’m using that as an excuse though. I, like many others probably discounted that fact, some for less time than others, but I don’t believe anyone can claim the opposite. It’s the kind of thing as a kid growing up you just don’t think about, at least if it’s not a thing that directly affects you. I’m sure my black friends, my Hispanic friends, and whomever else felt differently because their parents looked at things from their perspective. A perspective that sadly was undervalued for far too long. I had friends of all kinds when I was younger, and to me, as a kid, their skin color didn’t make me treat them any differently. They were MY friend and nothing else changed that. In hindsight, being born as a white person, is a privilege that I wouldn’t have known I had when I was that age. I certainly see and understand it now.

Now obviously if you look back throughout history there are numerous flashpoint moments that -should- have woken up the rest the world to this, but they didn’t, at least not for long enough to make some change. Some of them we learned about in school, some are more recent and we’ve seen them with our own eyes. The benefit of most, if not all phones now having cameras is WE are seeing this. I’m sure I am not alone in thinking that if the video of George Floyd hadn’t existed that we wouldn’t have ever heard of Derek Chauvin or seen even the remotest of charges against him and his fellow officers.

Maybe I’m wrong but recent history tends to lean that direction. It’s on “We the people” to finally make some real fucking change. No more turning our backs on it. No more thinking well it’s not here. No. Silence is compliance. To any and all of my non-white friends, you have my word here and now and until I’m dead and gone that I will ALWAYS be your ally. I will stand with you. I will fight for you. I will be your shield if you need me to be. I will use my privilege every chance I get to fight for you to have that same privilege. I also know words mean little, if you’re going to talk the talk, walk the walk. Let’s do this.

In doing my research for this post. I’ve gone through a lot of things, hence the delay in the posting of it. I like facts. I like proof. I am the type who would prefer to remove any chance of the smallest thing allowing for some bullshit argument. FACT, “Although half of the people shot and killed by police are white, black Americans are shot at a disproportionate rate.” [1] Black Americans make up less than 13% of the population BUT are killed by police officers at more than twice the rate of white Americans. How the fuck does that sound fair or right? I mean I am a white American male and I’m sitting here thinking what in the hell are they doing. Just to show that I am not one-sided, Hispanic Americans are also killed at a disproportionate rate. [1]

I spent a lot of time going through various websites, news outlets, posts, talking to people I know, anything I could get my hands on. The biggest assistance came from The Washington Post’s database. Now in looking over The Washington Post’s database on Police shootings. I can toggle to see that between 2015-2020 1,269 Black Americans have been shot and killed by police. 751 are said to have had a gun, 172 had a knife, 40 had a vehicle, 37 had a TOY WEAPON, 118 other, 122 UNARMED, and 29 unknown. [1] 

Now you might look at that and say well over 900 had some type of harmful item. You would be correct. It’s also correct to assume that not all 963 required deadly force. I can’t judge every single one nor do I have the facts to do so, but I wasn’t born yesterday either. Secondly, of our 1,269 police killings, take a guess at how many of those officers were using body cameras? (Side note: I am aware they are not required everywhere and that issues can happen, but I’m over asterisks on this kind of shit at this stage.) One Hundred and Ninety-Seven. 197 total body cameras confirmed. That leaves ONE THOUSAND AND SEVENTY-TWO either being NO or UNKNOWN. [1] That is fucking unacceptable.

Another question that may well get asked. Well did they run? Cause you know if they ran then they had to be guilty or doing something wrong. Seriously? Some probably, all, no. Let’s break those numbers down for you. Mostly because I’m paying for the The Washington Post and you getting to them isn’t without cost. So when it comes to “Fleeing the scene” what do we have. We have 211 fleeing in a car, 246 on foot (ever heard of a taser?), 41 listed as Other, 722 Not fleeing.

SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO. I ask you again WHY do 722 people who were NOT FLEEING THE SCENE end up dead? There’s no good answer to this question. It’s quite simple, they shouldn’t have ended up dead. Just like George Floyd. Was he fleeing. Could have even fled? What the video of George does is show you an example of what may have happened with the 722 I listed.

I’m going to cross into my own real life for a minute here because I feel like it adds to my viewpoint on this. I grew up in the white middle class. I had friends of all colors, religions, none of that mattered to me. What you don’t know is I also grew up with an uncle who served on the local police force. As a street officer, S.W.A.T., and finally a detective before retiring. I have Blue in my family and still I can see how wrong all of this is. I don’t give a damn that my own uncle was a police officer. It does not taint my view on what is so clearly in front of me.

I’ll be linking a full video of a very fantastic explanation of some things that former NFL player Emmanuel Acho put out. (There’s now a second episode of it out that I’ve yet to watch but check it out too.) I’ve watched it at least 10 times since I saw it and I felt like it does an incredible job of making sense to those who do not understand our brothers and sister’s viewpoint. We need to listen. Speak yes, but ONLY after you listen. Don’t just hear them. Listen to them. Understand the why, the where, the who, the when.

“The first question I’ve seen a lot of, “Emanuel why are y’all rioting I understand protesting but why riot?” And to that I submit this, Martin Luther King said that “rioting is the language of the unheard.” For years black people have tried peacefully protesting going back to 1965 and before with the Selma March and that didn’t work. And then in 2016 Colin Kaepernick he took a knee and that agenda got moved to a flag which was never the goal he just wanted to raise awareness on social injustice so that didn’t work. And so now we’ve seen riots because black people and hurt people are trying to get the attention of the oppressor they’re trying to raise awareness of the oppression” [2]

While I don’t think that burning buildings, looting, violence, etc are the answer, I understand the underlying anger that is fueling it. People in power do not pay attention to the peaceful protests. If they did we may not be where we are today. I don’t know that you can argue against that honestly. A certain subsection of the public was up in arms when Colin Kaepernick chose to kneel. I know Emmanuel talks about it a bit in the first episode but I’d like to add my own view since I saw it myself. A good amount of people understood, took a stand with him on it, and he lost his job for it.

Whether or not you think he’s a good enough quarterback or not, you can’t sit and try to tell me that he just wasn’t good enough. People would rather say that oh he’s disrespecting the flag and the military and everything they’ve fought for. They choose to leave out that he went to Nate Boyer, a former Green Beret by the way, to ask what the right thing to do would be, because he did not want to disrespect that. Peaceful protests work but after so long emotions take over and peaceful goes by the road the side.

This isn’t a new thing either. I can think of at least 10+ times in the last 10 years that I’ve seen something like we’re experiencing now. I think that Mr. Acho has a great way of putting the rioting into a perspective that you can understand. I won’t quote all of it because I would really like to see you watch the video, give it thumbs up, subscribe to stay up to date on his thoughts and questions he’ll receive.

In short though, “But when you think about the five different stages of grief you come up to one stage which is called ANGER and sometimes emotions they don’t know their actions.” [2] It’s a very relatable way to convey it to just about any of us. We have all had grief in our lives in one way or another. Those five stages are all too real, and sometimes all too often. Now imagine dealing with that every time something like this happens.

Think about how you feel when there’s a school shooting. (Most often it’s a white kid that does it folks). There is universal grief and pain. White, Black, Brown, anything, we all feel that grief. We all process it. Now flip that around and imagine it being something that ONLY affected White people. Sit there and honestly tell me that you wouldn’t reach anger after decades of inaction. You can’t. Not if you have any type of heart. Please watch Emmanuel’s video. It really showed me a lot, a lot of things I want to put into practice. I will be better. I will continue to educate myself, I will continue to educate others if I can, and I will continue to support this movement. The time for change is NOW.

I read a tweet the other day that made some sense too. “Agree to disagree” is reserved for things like “I don’t like coffee.” Not racism, homophobia, and sexism. Not human rights. Not basic common decency. If I unfriend you during this, it IS personal. We do not have a difference of opinion. We have a difference of morality.

The credits for the photo are far below, and yes all of the things that have been created by our amazing designers in SL deserve the credit they get. But for a change that comes last. If you’d like to do more I encourage you to check out Stand For Justice in Second Life. You can visit their website here and read more about what they are doing. If you’re a creator looking to get involved you can also find that information there. I urge anyone and everyone to do so. If not now, when? Don’t be silent. Don’t let this moment pass.

Lastly, and while this didn’t get photographed as well as I had hoped it would. I want to draw your attention to what should be on the phone screen. It is a literal screenshot of the ACLU’s Mobile Justice App. It is currently available in 18 states (Arizona, California, Colorado, Georgia, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Washington D.C.). How does the app work you ask, check out the video below. I recommend it. Hopefully my state gets it soon too. Do your part.

Here are download links for each state:

Android via GooglePlay Store: (Arizona, California, Colorado, Georgia, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Washington D.C.).

Apple via App Store: (Arizona, California, Colorado, Georgia, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Washington D.C.).


Michael Lorenzo Dean. Eric Reason. Christopher McCorvey. Steven Day. Christopher Whitfield. Atatiana Jefferson. Maurice Holly. Jordan Michael Griffin. Nicholas Walker. Bennie Branch. Byron Williams. Arthur Walton Jr. Channara Tom Pheap. Patricia Spivey. Stephan Murray. Ryan Twyman. Dominique Clayton. Isaiah Lewis. Kevin Leroy Beasley Jr. Julius Graves. Marcus McVae. Marzues Scott. Bishar Hassan. Kevin Bruce Mason. Mario Clark. Jimmy Atchison. D’ettrick Griffin. George Robinson. Andre Horton. Jesse Jesus Quinton. Mahlon Edward Summerrour. Charles D. Roundtree Jr. Chinedu Valentine Okobi. Anton G. Black Jr. Darell Richards. Botham Shem Jean. James Leatherwood. Joshua Wayne Harvey. Christopher Alexander Okamato. Cynthia Fields. Rashaun Washington. Anthony Marcell Green. Antwon Michael Rose II. Robert Lawrence White. Marcus-David L. Peters. Terrance Carlton. Juan Markee Jones. Danny Ray Thomas. Stephon Clark. Trey Ta’Quan Pringle Sr. Ronell Foster. Corey Mobley. Arthur McAfee Jr. Geraldine Townsend. Warren Ragudo. Thomas Yatsko. Dennis Plowden. Jean Pedro Pierre. Keita O’Neil. Lawrence Hawkins. Calvin Toney. Dewboy Lister. Armando Frank. Stephen Gayle. William Matthew Holmes. Anthony Antonio Ford. Charles David Robinson. Devin Howell. Herbert Gilbert. Thomas Williams. Aries Clark. Antonio Garcia Jr. Brian Easley. Euree Lee Martin. DeJuan Guillory. Aaron Bailey. Joshua Terrell Crawford. Marc Brandon Davis. Adam Trammell. Jimmie Montel Sanders. DeRicco Devante Holden. Mark Roshawn Adkins. Tashii S. Brown. Jordan Edwards. Roderick Ronall Taylor. Kenneth Johnson. Christopher Wade. Alteria Woods. Sherida Davis. Lorenzo Antoine Cruz. Chance David Baker. Raynard Burton. Quanice Derrick Hayes. Chad Robertson. Jerome Keith Allen. Nana Adomako. Marquez Warren. Deaundre Phillips. Sabin Marcus Jones. Darrian M. Barnhill. JR Williams. Muhammad Abdul Muhaymin. Jamal Robbins. Marlon Lewis. Ritchie Lee Harbison. Lamont Perry. Roy Lee Richards. Alfred Olango. Tawon Boyd. Terrence Crutcher. Tyre King. Levonia Riggins. Kendrick Brown. Donnell Thompson Jr. Dalvin Hollins. Delrawn Small. Sherman Evans. Deravis Rogers. Antwun Shumpert. Ollie Lee Brooks. Michael Eugene Wilson Jr. Vernell Bing Jr. Jessica Williams. Arthur R. Williams Jr. Lionel Gibson. Charlin Charles. Kevin Hicks. Dominique Silva. Robert Dentmond. India M. Beaty. Torry Lamar Robinson. Peter William Gaines. Arteair Porter. Kionte DeShaun Spencer. Christoper J. Davis. Thomas Lane. Paul Gaston. Calin Devante Roquemore. Dyzhawn L. Perkins. David Joseph. Wendell Celestine Jr. Antronie Scott. Peter John. Keith Childress. Bettie Jones. Kevin Matthews. Michael Noel. Leroy Browning. Miguel Espinal. Nathaniel Pickett. Cornelius Brown. Tiara Thomas. Richard Perkins. Jamar Clark. Alonzo Smith. Anthony Ashford. Dominic Hutchinson. Lamontez Jones. Rayshaun Cole. Paterson Brown Jr. Junior Prosper. Keith Harrison McLeod. Wayne Wheeler. Lavante Biggs. India Kager. James Carney III. Felix Kumi. Mansur Ball-Bey. Asshams Manley. Christian Taylor. Troy Robinson. Brian Day. Samuel Dubose. Darrius Stewart. Albert Davis. Salvado Ellswood. George Mann. Freddie Blue. Johnathon Sanders. Victo Lorosa III. Spencer McCain. Kevin Bajoie. Kris Jacksons. Kevin Higgenbotham. Ross Anthony. Richard Gregory Davis. D’Angelo Reyes Stallworth. Dajuan Graham. Brendon Glenn. Reginald L. Moore Sr. David Felix. William Chapman. Norman Cooper. Darell Lawrence Brown. Walter Scott. Eric Courtney Harris. Donald Ivy. Phillip White. Jason Moland. Denzel Brown. Brandon Jones. Askari Roberts. Bobby Gross. Terrance Moxley. Anthony Hill. Tony Terrell Robinson. Naeschylus Vinzant. Charly Leundeu Keunang. DeOntre L. Dorsey. Thomas Allen Jr. Calvon A. Reid. Terry Price. Lavall Hall. Natasha McKenna. Jeremy Lett. Tiano Meton. Artago Damon Howard. Andre Larone Murphy Jr. Leslie Sapp II. Brian Pickett. Jerome C. Reid. David Andre Scott. Dennis Grisby. Rumain Brisbon. Eric Ricks. Tamir E. Rice. Akai Gurley. Keara Crowder. Tanisha N. Anderson. Raphael Thomas. John T. Wilson III. Kaldrick Donald. Michael Ricardo Minor. Adam Ardett Madison. VonDerrit D. Myers Jr. Iretha Lilly. Balantine Mbegbu. Lashano J. Gilbert. Marlon S. Woodstock. Oliver Jarred Gregoire. Eugene Williams. Cameron Tillman. Ricky Deangelo Hinkle. Darrian Nathaniel Hunt. Cortez Washington. Vemicia Woodard. Arvel Douglas Williams. Levon Leroy Love. Corey Lavert Tanner. Dante Parker. Ezell Ford. Dustin Keith Glover. Michael Brown. John H. Crawford III. Jeremey Lake. Cedric Stanley. Jacorey Calhoun. Briatay McDuffie. Eric Garner. Charles K. Goodridge. Christopher Jones. Jerry Brown. Lavon King. Juan May. Emanuel Jean-Baptiste. Mark Anthony Blocker. Montez Dewayne Hambric. Tommy J. Yancy Jr. Johnathon Lee Asuzu. Howard Wallace Bowe Jr. Dominique Franklin Jr. George V. King. Justin Griffin. Tyrone Davis. Gregory Lewis Towns Jr. Zikarious Flint. DeAndre Lloyd Starks. Willie Neall Harden. Hallis Kinsey. Floyd Gene Hodge. Treon Johnson. Yvette Smith. Ernest Satterwhite. Anthony Bartley. Willie James Sams. Anesson Joseph. Jordon Baker. Jeffrey Ragland. Kendall Alexander. Cimarron Lamar Lamb. Ervin Edwards. Willie James Williams. Abdul Kamal. William Alfred Harvey III. William Taylor. Brandon Devone Smith. Reginald Williams Jr. Jack Lamar Robertson. Elijah Glay. Alexander Jamar Marion. Johnathon A. Ferrell. Marlon Horton. Ronnie Ledesma Jr. Montrell Moss. Jeffrey B. Lilly Jr. Jermaine McBean. Allen Desdunes. Ryan L. Stokes. Larry Eugene Jackson Jr. Dainell Simmons. Deomain Hayman. Tyrone West. Daryll Blair. Antonio Johnson. George Harvey. Micah Anthony Key. Lana Morris. Keoshia L. Hill. Bill Jackson. Julian Dawkins. Terry Laffitte. Jermaine Darden. Marlon Brown. Kendra Diggs. Deion Fludd. Clifton Armstrong. Fred Bradford Jr. Craig Demps. Dason Peters. Dylan Samuel-Peters. Russell Lydell Smith. Willie Lee Bingham Jr. Clinton Roebexar Allen. Charles A. Baker Jr. Anthony Dwayne Harris. Donovan Thomas. Jayvis Benjamin. Quintine Barksdale. Cedrick Chatman. Darrell Bakns. Xavier Tyrell Johnson. Yolanda Thomas. Trayvon Martin. David McAtee. Tony McDade. Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. George Floyd. Manuel Ellis.

There is a very good chance that I have either missed names or was unable to find some but that does not make those who are unnamed on this list any less important than those who are. No one should have suffer like this. No one.


[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/investigations/police-shootings-database/

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8jUA7JBkF4


“I can’t breathe
Got my head on the guillotine
Slip a knot around my neck, come and take a seat
Watch ’em bury me down till I’m six feet deep
In the underground
That is the land of the free”

I Prevail Ft. Joyner Lucas – DOA

I Prevail - DOA


Head: LeLUTKA.Head.Skyler.1.2 (SL) ~ Jaden Nova
Head Applier: STRAY DOG – TULIO – LELUTKA – TONE 04 ~ Gac Akina ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Hair: lock&tuft – proud short ~ AlyxxBanks Resident ~ NEW @ SL Pride At Home (June 1-June 30)
Hairbase: LeLUTKA.Hairbase.001.Red (BOM) ~ Jaden Nova (Comes with the LeLUTKA Skyler Head)
Brows: LeLUTKA.Brows.Skyler.003 (BOM) ~ Jaden Nova (Comes with the LeLUTKA Skyler Head)
Ears: ^^Swallow^^ Pyramid Ears ~ Luciayes Magic
Eyes: Avi-Glam. Passional Eyes Gacha – 09 ~ Kendra Parfort
Beard: LeLUTKA.HD Beard.Skyler.1.2 ~ Jaden Nova (Comes with the LeLUTKA Skyler Head)
Beard Layer: Volkstone Rey Facial Hair // 004 TINTABLE (BOM) ~ Daves Hexem
Body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (m) (1.2) ~ MeshBody Resident
Skin: STRAY DOG – Legacy Skin – TONE 04 (BOM) ~ Gac Akina
Tattoo: IDTTY Body Shop – The Prophecy ~ Melissa Hindrabar

Top: <Kalback> Vest Hoodie M3 ~ Patrix Beck ~ NEW @ Man Cave (May 17-June 11)
Pins: Ariskea [BLM] Pins ~ Aris Pancake ~ NEW @ Stand For Justice (June 5-Ongoing)
Pants: <Kalback> Casual Joggers M3 ~ Patrix Beck ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Shoes: [KuddelMuddel] Banned 85s ~ Juanse Zero ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Rings: **RE** janus Rings ~ Crashnoww Resident
Watch: [sau]Engraved watch[1.0] ~ NiR McBride ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Mask: [ VERSOV ] PROTECTOV_MASK ~ Versov Resident
Phone: [VALE KOER] SMARTPHONE ~ Bob Resident


Backdrop: .PALETO. Backdrop:.Warehouse ~ Kaled156 Resident
Pose: -XTC- Free Your Mind – 2 ~ PruKellar Resident

Smoke Grenades: :BAMSE: Sharpshooter – Smoke Grenade ~ LiamZander Resident ~ GACHA

**Smoke (and how I did it) For the Tear Gas I got creative and combined the Smoke Grenades above from :BAMSE: Sharpshooter Gacha with two pose sets from Ana Poses. While I didn’t use the poses for their original design I found that the spray cans made for some really nice looking smoke. You can get them by purchasing Ana Poses – Putian set for men and Ana Poses – Yerevan set for women. I highly recommend them both for not only their intended use but for what you can do beyond it. Hell of a job on those Fanny. ❤**

Women’s Set: Ana Poses – Yerevan ~ Fanny Finney
Men’s Set: Ana Poses – Putian ~ Fanny Finney
Riot Shield: (epia) – Riot Shield ~ Verone Potez
Signs: // tiller // – #BLM Sign **(Free)** ~ Tillersl Resident ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Stop Sign: 7 – Stop Sign ~ Agustkov Resident
Barricade: RiDECO – Barricade ~ Guraa Resident
Dumpster: RiDECO – Closed Dumpster ~ Guraa Resident
Fuse Box: RiDECO – Fuse Box 2 ~ Guraa Resident

1 comment

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: