I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
Cause I’m not fine at all
5 Seconds of Summer – Amnesia
Have you ever thought you’ve had something all figured out? Like all of the evidence you had in front of you at that moment in time was enough for you to make a call on it. Then after you thought you had made peace with it you find a missing piece. That one missing piece, whether small or large, completely throws you back in disarray. You question what you thought, what you felt, should you have felt it, and was making the decision you made the right one? I’m learning that lesson again.
I felt like I was in a place of acceptance with things. I knew what I knew and even if took me months upon months to get myself to that point, I had accepted what I was going to do. Then a few nights ago I learned more than I knew when I decided to bury it deep down. I’m sitting here now rethinking all of it. I know it’s probably a pointless thing to do because what happened still happened. Yes there’s a new variable, but does that really change it at all? I honestly don’t know. I still haven’t figured out what I want to do now. I may stay the course and continue down the path I’m on now.
Another thing that I learned quite recently is partly why I’m questioning the other thing. Life has a way of changing it up. A few days ago I was planning to sit down and work on a new post. That night ended up being far from what I anticipated and that’s putting it lightly to say the least. I was reminded of how quickly things can change. One day someone is here and the next day they’re not. Hell even the next second could be your or my last. It made me think about the things I could do differently. What if today were it? Would I have things left unsaid that I wish I didn’t? If that were the case then yes right now I probably would. I would certainly hope most would know but I can’t guarantee that.
One thing is extremely clear to me tonight. Tell the people who matter to you how you feel. Tell them you love them, hug them, whatever it is, do it. You never know when someone won’t be there to tell. Don’t wait and assume you can just do it tomorrow. There is no guarantee of tomorrow, there’s just now. Do it. That being said to anyone who has ever read, liked, or even glanced at anything I have ever written, posted on Flickr, or talked about, I appreciate you. No matter what we’ve been through personally, the past is the past. Thank you. I know I’ve been drifting off in a lot of directions here since I came back. I think it’s going to be a very long time before I have completely settled on a direction. I mean really who knows if I ever even will.
The shoot for this went through a metamorphosis of sorts. I started out with an idea that involved a hotel as the backdrop. After I looked at it more I couldn’t use it. While it looked nice it just gave the photo the wrong kind of vibe. In a sense it cheapened the idea I wanted to convey. Once I dropped that and moved in the direction of an outdoor scenario I started with a sunny feeling. It had a really great look and I almost stuck with it.
In the end I decided to flip it on it’s head though. Rain. I never do rain, mostly because trying to shoot it inworld is such a pain in the ass. I managed to make Photoshop rain work for this and I’m reasonably satisfied with the end result. Everything going on around the avatars is darker, stormy, the ever present threat of something is there. Even with that being the case the two people are in total disregard for it. They are solely focused on one another and the feeling between them. The feel of it really fit well with the pose from Point and Shoot poses. It has that tender loving look and played perfectly into the look I ended up with. You can pick it up at Pose Fair until April 30, hurry hurry ❤
I also made the decision to go to a throwback style for Lucky. If you’ve followed me from my early days then you probably know I rocked the mohawk and shaved hairbase all of the time. It was me and I loved it for that time. I felt like going back to that if even for just one shot was kind of cool. It was a challenge to adapt my bento head to the previous incarnation of Lucky Spiritor. While it’s not 100% identical it is mostly loyal to the original.
The pictures that you sent me they’re still living in my phone
I’ll admit I like to see them, I’ll admit I feel alone
5 Seconds of Summer – Amnesia
Pose: P & S Belong 2 ~ Jude Mortensen ~ NEW @ Pose Fair (Apr 1 – Apr 30)
Head: CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2 ~ Catwa Clip
Hair: TRUTH / Rumor ~ Truth Hawks
Head Applier: L’Etre – Heidi Skin [Cotton Tone] ~ Dam1710 Resident
Eyes: AG. Dramatic Eyes – Ivy ~ Kendra Parfort ~ NEW @ The Seasons Story (Apr 10 – Apr 30)
Ears: [MANDALA] STEKING_EARS_Season5 – Kikunosuke Eel
Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1 ~ Onyx Lashelle
Skin Applier: L’Etre – Maitreya Body Appliers [Cotton tone] ~ Dam1710 Resident
Nails: Hello Dave – Nail Appliers – Black Tip French – Neutral ~ Maia Gasparini
Head: CATWA HEAD Victor [SL Neck] v3.1 ~ Catwa Clip
Head Applier: Clef de Peau.Clef de Peau.Oscar T4 [CATWA] ~ Marcopol Oh
Hair: *Trailerstar* Mohawk Ver 2 (Black) ~ Nich Shilova
Brows: IDTTY Faces – CATWA Appliers [Devilish Eyebrows CUT] ~ Melissa Hindrabar
Ears: [MANDALA] STRETCHED_Ears_Season2 GOLD – Kikunosuke Eel ~ NEW
Eyes: AG. Dramatic Eyes – Powder ~ Kendra Parfort ~ NEW @ The Seasons Story (Apr 10 – Apr 30)
Body: Slink Physique MALE Mesh Body V2.04 ~ Siddean Munro
Body Applier: Clef de Peau.Body Tight T4 ~ Marcopol Oh
Hands: Slink Hands – Dynamic ~ Siddean Munro
Feet: Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet Male Flat ~ Siddean Munro
Tattoo: DAPPA – Harmonize Tattoo ~ KarlosGuerrero Resident
Jacket: [Deadwool] Peak suit (wool) – jacket – beige ~ Masa Plympton
Pants: [Deadwool] Peak suit (wool) – trousers (dandy length) – beige ~ Masa Plympton
Shoes: [Deadwool] Oxford shoes ~ Masa Plympton
Path: Botanical – Edged Brick Park Path ~ Kriss Lehmann
Arbor: *AF* Lattice Arbor 1B ~ ArtizanMesh Resident
Hedges: Botanical – Seasonal Boxwood Hedge ~ Kriss Lehmann
Lighting: Botanical – Decorative Light Set ~ Kriss Lehmann
Grass: Skye Wild Grass ~ Alex Bader
Trees: Botanical – Seasonal Maple Trees ~ Kriss Lehmann
Cliffs: Skye Modular Cliff Pack 1 Faces ~ Alex Bader