“The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.
And tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.”
Edwin McCain – I’ll Be
Typically when I introduce a new “chapter” to the blog it’s going forward. This time however it’s going quite a ways back, well before my days in SecondLife, before chaos and confusion, to a time when I thought I had everything figured out. (We all know I didn’t, nor did any of us at the stage we “think we know”.) So instead of it being a new chapter, I decided on a prologue instead. I’m a creature of habit and the book theme just works for me. Nevertheless, I’ve been feeling the need to write about it a bit and the more I’ve put it off the more annoyed with myself I’ve become. I know that sounds kind of insane because you write what you write. That’s just how it is, or for me at least. We all know I lean into whatever I’m feeling at the time and that keeps it from being monotonous to me. This one, though, has been kind of knawing at me to write about over the last month or so. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to, that I should, I don’t really know, but uncertainty all around the idea I suppose.
I’ve often questioned a post when there’s been uncertainty in either how I want to approach it or if the topic may be a hot-button issue. This one isn’t a hot-button issue by any means so that’s not a problem but it’s one that I guess really I’m just writing for myself? Sometimes those posts work out well, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they fall anywhere in between. I’m sure everyone’s heard the phrase “There’s someone for everyone” regarding relationships and life. I’m not going to say I buy into that because there are far too many factors to truly say there is that -ONE- person out there for everyone.
When, where, why, how, and most importantly who? Then you add the numerous variables to those five and it’s multiplicative. It’s impossible to say. Do I buy that you can find someone who fits you and your ideals? Absolutely. I in fact believe there are multiple people because all of those variables come into play all the time. Where are you? What are you looking for? When is the right time and if it’s not the right time does that time ever come around? Why not say something if that’s what you feel? Why say something if it could go badly? Most importantly who?
I believe that time plays a part in all of it. Everything depends on where you are in life and who the person is at that time. If I can take a second to go back to the “Why not say something if that’s what you feel? Why say something if it could go badly?” portion from the paragraph above, I say you never know if you don’t do it. Could it go badly, yes of course it could. There’s literally a 50/50 chance of that. From my perspective, I would rather take that chance and it goes bad than never take it and be left wondering what could have been. I’ve done that once before and I do believe I’ll write about it eventually because it was one that I thought could be something great. It probably would have been too, but I didn’t say anything.
That one person is not this prologue topic though because that came later in the timeline. In my previous post “I Try To Tell Myself My Best Days Are The Ones That Lie Ahead” I talked about the kiddo. It made me think that I never really did write much in regard to Mom and her impact. So once again a bit less Second Life focused, but this is where I am and I feel it’ll be worth it. You always hear talk or songs about high school sweethearts and how that all works out or doesn’t. Sometimes I hear them and think yeah sure, but then I remember my own situation and it’s true. It does happen, and maybe doesn’t always work out the way you want it, but quite often people do find that someone in those formative years and they stick forever.
I won’t spend a boatload of time going through everything in this post because let’s be honest not everyone will care to read it and I understand that. I figured maybe I’d hit on the part that stands out to me still and kind of leave it at that for this introductory piece of the prologue. Our relationship started early on in that school year, really out of nowhere. I remember coming back after summer with my friend group sitting around in our usual spot in the school. She caught my eye coming up the stairs and I thought damn she’s cute. Never thought it’d be more than just that because hell it’s high school, how many times have we said that before and it turns into nothing.
I had the luxury of going to an alternative school that gave us a lot more freedom and decision-making in how we did things. Everyone was called by their first names, teachers included and it really made for a nice level field because everyone was equal in that sense. Respect was naturally there because you had to earn and keep your place there or you would be back to your normal “home” school in the district. Basically, you were required to keep a certain GPA, no cheating, drinking/drugs, that kind of thing. Really not a lot to ask for the extra freedom you had there. We could leave campus pretty much whenever we wanted to, go out to eat, have free hours of no class, and do independent studies that counted as classes, it was the best of all things in my opinion. The most enjoyable school experience I’ve ever seen.
We met before driver’s licenses and all of that stuff. Walking all the way down the bike trail from one house to the other for that first dinner with the parents. Man, I still remember that one, not that I hadn’t done it before but sometimes it just feels different, more important, and this one damn sure did. At the time I wasn’t sure why it felt different or more important, but reflecting back I obviously understand why. Quite simply it was one of those meant-to-be situations that you happen upon in life. Everything just lined up right and I found myself in that moment not knowing what the future held but I definitely liked it a lot more with her there.
Walking into that house, not really knowing them, but knowing that this was the time to make the first impression and how important that was. I didn’t know what was for dinner or what questions might await me but whatever it was I was going to make the most of it. I want to say we had some kind of chili thing that was in like glasses with Fritos and such and to be honest, I had no idea what was all in it. I ate it all though and smiled like it was the best thing on planet Earth. It was pretty good.
I can’t really recall what we talked about though. It’s safe to assume the usual questions parents would give you at that stage of life. Parents are always tricky too because they’re smarter than you think they are and sometimes a very simple question means a lot more than one that sounds complex. I think I did reasonably well considering they didn’t shoot me then. I’ve got plenty of stories that I may add to this portion of the story, we’ll see which ones I can flesh out in terms of photo ideas and words. This is only the beginning of the prologue, much more could follow. Soon TM.
“Dear M,
Our story is intense and incredible, unbelievable and undeniable, complicated yet so simple. It’s one you almost had to be a part of to truly understand. We were a perfect combination whose paths crossed when they were supposed to. Quite a rarity these days. So often it’s the right place, wrong time, and yet you and I were tied together before we really knew it. The stories that will follow are all as we lived them, our highs and lows, the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, no filters. I don’t know what all I’ll write about, but I do know that looking back on us in totality you were my person then and maybe always, though our stories took separate paths we’ll always be connected.
-L”
I can’t leave the post without mentioning the amazing new BOMBER Sunglasses from [MAGNIFICENT] that are available at this month’s round of The Mens Dept. I’ve loved each pair of glasses that Stefan has created since the first ones and these are going to become a staple in my accessories. The classic Aviator style with tons of options in the fatpack so you can customize them to your heart’s content. Definitely pick these up for 50% off before the event ends! Credits for everything else can be found below, including all of the incredible items available for Pride At Home 2023.
“I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be love’s suicide
And I’ll be better when I’m older,
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
The greatest fan of your life.
…greatest fan of your life.”
Edwin McCain – I’ll Be
Credits:
Head: LeLUTKA.Head.NOA.3.1 ~ Jaden Nova
Head Applier: STRAY DOG – GREG – LELUTKA – TONE 04 ~ Gac Akina
Hair: [MAGNIFICENT] THOR Bun – Grooming Hair – LeBarbier Alpha
Hairbase: EGX. BOM Ragnar Hairbase ~ Veviaz Resident
Beard: [MAGNIFICENT] HOBO BEADS Beard & Stache – LeBarbier Alpha
Beard Layer: Volkstone Rey Facial Hair // 004 TINTABLE (BOM) ~ Daves Hexem
Ears: ^^Swallow^^ Gauged S Ears ~ Luciayes Magic
Eyes: Avi-Glam. Prism Eyes Pack 2 ~ Eye Daddy ~ NEW @ Pride At Home (June 1-June 30)
Body: [LEGACY] Athletic (1.6) ~ MeshBody Resident
Skin: STRAY DOG – Legacy Skin – TONE 04 (BOM) ~ Gac Akina
Hand BOM: K.O.K.O.S SHOP – SEXI MAN HANDS-BOM ALL BODY. ~ Aleric Dallas
Tattoo Top: DAPPA – Reckoning Tattoo. [FADED] Lelutka EvoX. ~ Devil Fae
Nails: N E X U S HD nails v.4 ~ CheerNo Destiny
Shirt: {COLD-ASH} BLAISE Tee (Fatpack) ~ ColdAsh Resident
Pants:<kalback> Everyday Jeans M4_Regular Cuffs (Legacy) ~ Patrix Beck
Sunglasses: [MAGNIFICENT] BOMBER Sunglasses ~ LeBarbier Alpha ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Rings/Bracelet:**RE** Aeon Bracelet & Rings ~ Crashnoww Resident
Watch:**RE** Aeon Watch ~ Crashnoww Resident
Earrings: [Jays] #LoveWins – Swallow Gauged S (EvoX) ~ Skordy Xue
~Scene~
Pose: Animosity – M-188 Pose Pack ~ CzarFenris Resident ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (June 5-June 30)
Desk: BAMSE : Gamer – Desk RARE ~ LiamZander Resident
Desk Extension: BAMSE : Gamer – Desk Extension RARE ~ LiamZander Resident
Monitor L: BAMSE : Personal Space – Monitor ~ LiamZander Resident
Middle Speaker: BAMSE : Gamer – Speaker Central ~ LiamZander Resident
Wifi Extender: [VEX] Vexgear Wifi Extender Black ~ Vexiin Takeda
Speaker: BAMSE : Gamer – Speaker ~ LiamZander Resident
Headphones: BAMSE : Personal Space – Headphones ~ LiamZander Resident
Mouse Pad: BAMSE : Gamer – Mouse pad ~ LiamZander Resident
Keyboard: [VEX] Elite Gamer-Keyboard Black ~ Vexiin Takeda
Monitor R: [VEX] Elite Gamer Monitor – Black ~ Vexiin Takeda
Eggs: BackBone Dragon Eggs ~ Axl XOXO
Macaron Box: Granola. Pride Macaron Giftbox ~ Trans. ~ Kimbra Iridescent ~ NEW @ Pride At Home (June 1-June 30)
Camera: BAMSE : Traveler – Camera RARE ~ LiamZander Resident
Glam Doll 1: Garbaggio // Taris ~ Ashleey Andrew
Pop 1: Bang! Figures – Final Legends #20 – The Calamity (EVENT)
Pop 2: Bang! Figures – World of Wizards #17 – Somber Wizard (UNCOMMON)
Pop 3: Bang! Figures : A Pirate’s Life #9 – Capn Jack (LEGENDARY)
Pop 4: Bang! Figures – Galaxy Wars #4 – Smuggler (RARE)
Pop 5: Bang! Figures – Galaxy Wars #18 – Princess Senate (UNCOMMON)
Pop 6: Bang! Figures – Galaxy Wars #13 – Dark Knight (LEGENDARY) ~ Charisma Aries
Glam Doll 2: Garbaggio // Transgender Flag ~ Ashleey Andrew ~ NEW @ Pride At Home (June 1-June 30)
Clover Heart: Ava Heart – Lucky In Love ~ Lucky Conundrum
Cupcake Heart: Ava Heart – Sweet Heart ~ Portia Pexington
Bag: Wednesday[+] ~ Wizard Life ~ Wizard Bag – COMMON ~ MikoCupcakes Resident