That’s Why I’m Checkin’ My Vitals. They Keep On Workin’ But I Know…

“I don’t do drugs, I’m addicted to the pain though
Yeah, I been on it for a while, don’t know how to put it down
Gotta have it, it’s a habit I’ma break though
I just wanna take it a hit, keep sayin’ I’ma quit
Keep sayin’ I’m a leave but I stay though
I just want a little fix, I don’t wanna take a risk
I don’t like it when I drift from the safe zone
But lately I been thinkin’ I might have to
Lettin’ go of things that I’m attached to
World don’t stop just because I’m in a bad mood”

NF – Change

Burdens. We all have them in one or many forms and we all deal with them differently from one another. As you know by now I listen to music from all across the spectrum with rock, country, and pop usually winning out. I do like my fair share of hip-hop and rap with my favorite being Eminem amongst numerous others. A while back I happened upon NF through a YouTube reaction video and instantly loved what he was doing. I want to say that was during his album cycle for The Search. I of course went back and listened to the big songs and then dove into the albums themselves. I found myself really enjoying the the way he rapped and the lyrical content that he had in everything. (You all know how much I love the lyrical side of music.) I also love that he truly does not curse or have any cursing by anyone featured with him. Not that I have a problem with it, just not something I find often.

NF is Nate Feuerstein and the black balloons are symbolic. You’ll find them in many of his videos and his lyrics describe at least one of their meanings in this form. On his song “The Search” which opens the album of same name, the lyrics “Grabbin my keepsakes, leavin’ my burdens/Well, I brought a few with me, I’m not perfect.” This is taken from the annotation on Genius so I will link to that because that is what you do when you use something someone else wrote.In the music video, while saying these lines, NF points to the balloons attached to his shopping cart implying that they represent his burdens. People in white clothing can also be seen carrying balloons similarly to NF. The idea of balloons representing burdens is ironic because balloons are light and have the ability to float, while burdens are often said to weigh people down.”[1]

I love the idea that the balloons represent burdens in the way they do. They show up often as I said in his videos and it kind of shows how even someone with the success that he very clearly has, still has their problems in life too. Just because you’re famous and a known name doesn’t mean you don’t go through the same human things everyone else does. The idea for this shot came from the video for “The Search” but I wanted to use the song “Change” instead because the lyrics resonated with me, and the Genius annotation once again backed up my thoughts on it. “Change” is a track where NF fights with his inner-self about needing change in his life, but is afraid to venture out and try new things. These feelings are reflected in the beat as a soft background fights with a powerful drum throughout.[2]

It kind of goes back to my posts about breaking the glass the trying new things. That want to change but being afraid to do it. Will it work the way you hope it does, will it fall flat and you’ll feel like you just wasted all that time. I’ve been there on many things in my life, but one I can relate to here and you my readers can is the idea of a different kind of blog or photo that you wouldn’t normally do. The challenge of doing something new excites me, but it’s scary too. I have had tons of photos that I thought were great to me, that the reaction to was not even close. Now I’m also the type who as I’ve said before doesn’t really care about the analytics of it all, because I don’t, but you do notice the reaction either way. I have also had photos that when I finished them I thought “okay this is a good shot, nothing special but it works” and they blow up more than I would have guessed.

Everything resonates differently with people. Take chances sometimes, you never know what will be the one thing that does something you didn’t think it would. Maybe it’ll be the idea you’ve had for ages but never really did because you didn’t think anyone else would get it. Maybe it’ll be a surprise to something you don’t think will be great. Trust me, we bloggers do this for our sponsors, but at the end of the day you don’t keep doing it unless you truly love doing it. Whether that’s the love of taking the photo, showcasing the creators work to the best of your ability, or if it’s writing a long post about the items with all the details and things you love, or you could be like me and you write you feel and you use the amazing creations of other individuals to convey the thoughts. We all have our methods and reasons, and they’re all right.

The wonderful creators that helped make this shot come to life deserve some space here too. I often tend to ramble about my thoughts and leave out my commentary on the items. I will almost always credit things, but I know I don’t talk about the items all the time. Let’s make that a new challenge for 2022, we’re only just past halfway through it so I’ll strive to be better going forward. We’ll start with the scene and pose because those are key to making any shot come to life in the way you want it.

Mike had mentioned FOXCITY’s Sinking Sands Photo Booth the other night and it was one I didn’t have. There are many but that’s another story. I ended up picking it up and realizing that this could work very well for the photo I had in mind. Now I did do some tweaking to it because I needed it be darker, but because Satomi is amazing the Photo Booth is modifiable. I was able to tint my sand darker and give the materials a color closer to the scene I wanted to portray. It worked out amazing. I will say even before I modified it that it was an amazingly done scene that I can see future uses for. I loved that it included two EEP settings to use with it as well blowing sand to add to the scene should you so choose.

Then it was finding the right pose and thankfully I had already picked it up at this month’s round of The Men’s Dept. Using “The Search” as my idea, I remembered the Giorgio Series of poses from CKEY Poses had a pose that looked like someone shielding their eyes to look at something. I set it out and swapped to Pose 02 in the stand and it was absolutely perfect for this. I’ve purchased many poses from CKEY over the years and whether it be their couples poses, friends posts, or individual poses they are always on point for me. I needed a shopping cart and knew I had one form an ACT5 pose that I purchased. I had to remove some groceries but it was exactly right. I knew the quality would be on point and everything from ACT5 is not only well made but exceptionally affordable. They offer a ton of poses from couples, single poses, friend poses, any kind of life event type thing you could ever want.

I needed some people to hold balloons in the distance but I knew I needed them to have the all white clothing to stand out like they do in the video. I remembered years back purchasing a set at a previous round of The Mens Dept, I think, from [sau] that was a disinfection team. Now I didn’t really need them to do that but they are dressed in white and with six or seven of them to choose from I knew I could get a few of them to fit what I needed and I think they did the job. [sau] makes fabulous things of all kinds and I can’t even do justice to describing all of them so the best thing you can do is hit up their store in world and check out some epic shit. Finally the balloons. They had to look good, they had to be black, or able to be made black, and I wanted more than one type. Enter hive and I knew I had it exactly right. I picked up the grouped tie set because we needed black and they were perfection. Lundy always has and continues to make awesome things. I know I’ve been a customer since the early days and she delivers over and over and over. Visit hive and check everything out because I guarantee there’s going to be more than one thing there that you walk out with.

We’ll go over the look a little more quickly because my usual look is the standard me, but I’ll hit on the additional things that made it what I wanted because they were vital to this. We will start a brand that I just recently found that I absolutely love now, Landgraff. I always am looking for new and interesting cuts, scrapes, scratches, bruises, what I would call body damage stuff. Landgraff has some really fantastic packs of cuts, bruises, body marks, and more that I instantly picked up and knew I would use at some point. Today was that point. NF doesn’t have any of that in the video but I wanted to play off the lyrics and the pain aspect and what better way then to look like I’ve been through some stuff. I really love the look and variety that Evanmartinez has in Landgraffs products thus far and I will certainly be following closely for more. I finished off my damage with some hand cuts from duckie. that have been a go to for me for a while now and will use until the end of time. Duckie did a perfect job on what they are and while they are simple compared to a lot of bloody things, they fit exactly what I needed. Lastly I used RZ.‘s Hand Bruises and they are another new find for me. Like Landgraff they have a variety of body things that are super useful and I will again be watching what comes next from Rediz Darkheart, because I will always want and need more of this stuff.

You can find the rest of my credits below because they are my almost every day me and we’ve talked that before! I’ll see you all in the next post. I think it might kind of a fun one too, trying something new on that hopefully, if all goes as planned. I’ve got a couple of ideas for some fresh post formats that I plan to try out, this being one of them. I’ll definitely want some feedback to see if it’s worth it or not once they get going.



“You don’t know what love is
Till you holdin’ onto something that you can’t lose
That’s why I’m tryna get it together
Sleeves up, puttin’ working in, tryna be better”

NF – Change


Head: LeLUTKA.Head.NOA.3.1 ~ Jaden Nova
Head Applier:
LeLUTKA.EvoX.Hairbase.044 (BOM) ~ Jaden Nova (Comes with the LeLUTKA NOA Head)
^^Swallow^^ Gauged S Ears ~ Luciayes Magic
Beard Layer:
Volkstone Rey Facial Hair // 004 TINTABLE (BOM) ~ Daves Hexem
[LEGACY] Athletic Edition (1.1) ~ MeshBody Resident
STRAY DOG – Legacy Skin – TONE 04 (BOM) ~ Gac Akina
Tattoo Top:
DAPPA – Zugai Tattoo. [FRESH] Lelutka EvoX. ~ Devil Fae
Face Cuts 1: Landgraff – Troublemaker Set ~ Evanmartinez Resident
Face Cuts 2: Landgraff – Crash ~ Evanmartinez Resident
Face Scars: Landgraff – Rioter Fresh Scars – Left ~ Evanmartinez Resident
Face Marks: Landgraff – Hunter Set (Veins) [Evo X] ~ Evanmartinez Resident
Face Marks 2: Landgraff – Facial Marks 004 ~ Evanmartinez Resident
Hand Cuts: duckie . savage // bom ~ Duckiestore Resident
Hand Bruises: RZ. Hand Bruises Darker (BOM) ~ Rediz Darkheart

Hoodie: BETRAYAL. Rhuigi Hoodie BLACK [Legacy] ~ Chontei XOXO
Shorts: <kalback> ViBe Jeans Ripped (Low) FULLPACK (Legacy AT) ~ Patrix Beck
Rings/Bracelet: *RE* Aeon Bracelet & Rings ~ Crashnoww Resident
Earrings: = DAE = SXD1 ~ Naomi Darkheart

People: [sau]Disinfection team ~ NiR McBride
Balloons: hive // grouped tie ~ Lundy Lovely
Cage: Meshed Potato – Cage ~ Holidays Resident
Cart: ACT5-Shopping Cart with Groceries ~ ActFiveSC Resident (I took the groceries out of it for this shot)
Pose: CKEY Poses – Giorgio Series – 02 ~ Nescolet Resident ~ NEW @ The Mens Dept (July 5-July 30)
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Sinking Sands ~ Satomi XOXO

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