Looking over your shoulder
You never get any older
Every memory’s come and gone
I can’t believe it’s been so long.
David Cook – Home Movies (Over Your Shoulder)
I know less than a week ago I promised I would get back to fashion more than anything else. I have to admit now that I can’t keep that promise. I tried, I really did. It’s just not how I work at least not at my best. I write what I know, what I feel, what I’m thinking, seeing, hearing. Sometimes it’s to get it out of my head. Other times I do it just because the thought or idea sounds good.
The idea here is quite simple really. I tend to file things away in my head. Some would call it a box, for the purposes of this I call it a vault. It’s the place in my head where the memories are stored. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all there. My thoughts in this post are if I could write a letter to myself that would arrive just prior to my starting Second Life, what would I say? Here we go.
I know you and you know me. We’re one and the same which I’m sure sounds crazy to hear. I’m writing this to explain the last nine years a little bit. This should reach you before you start your journey in this virtual world of ours. I’m not writing to you to change anything that happens between then and now though. On the contrary I don’t want you to change a single thing that I’m about to tell you. It all will lead you to where you need to go.
As you will come to find soon two real friends (Mike/Matt) will lead you here. There will be bumps and periods of quiet throughout the years but you are all still friends to this day. Don’t lose sight of that. You may disagree, fight, even take a knife or two, but you all stick together. You’re going to make a fair amount of friends there too. Some of them still remain to this day. Others have come and gone and some even return from time to time. Part of that is decisions that those people made and some of it is decisions you made. Not all of them are right or justified but what will be will be. Those things happens and while you will feel the sting of some of the losses, that’s life kid. You’re going to make mistakes and you’re going to have to deal with them.
I’m not sure there is a type of business that you won’t try your hand at. Ok wait I lied. You are not nor have you ever been a stripper. Not that I frown on that it’s just not your style. Some of those businesses are more fun than others. You will definitely love making clothing, even if the most fun you had with it was simple t-shirts. As you’re doing that you’ll also start to work as a host at a club. That one was a challenge because you really are a quiet person at your core. It’s good in a way though, you meet a lot of people and make some friends. They don’t last forever but it was good while it lasted. Plus you get to host for your friend and meet a significant other there.
One thing I never saw in the cards for you was being part of a family there. Surprisingly you did. It will turn out to be one of the most impactful parts of your journey. It will start with one of those two friends. He knows who he is (cough Mike cough.) That small start will branch out and pull you in. You’ll go from being on your own to having an extended family around you in a blink. It’s one of the best parts of all of this, if not -THE- best part.
You’re going to get married, more than once, and more than once that will change. I can’t really say the why or how to that one. Things happen, people change, you grow together, and you grow apart. You just have to live and learn through each situation. There is one that means more than the rest (Portia) and has by the far the biggest impact of them all. Enjoy every single moment of it. Take everything in and let it fuel your fire. Believe me, the juice is worth the squeeze.
You love hard and with everything you have. You probably already knew that. I don’t want you to change that but know that as amazing as it is, the hurt that comes with it is fierce. It will rock you more than once and you will have to deal with that. Know that you can do it. It doesn’t get better overnight, or a week, or a month, but you will make it.
Daughters. Oh daughters… You come from a family that pretty much only has boys so learning how daughters work is one hell of a ride. It’s so worth it though. You will have three over the course of your time here. Your first will be a youngin’ (Mai) who is two or three. I can’t honestly recall. That will be a brief one but you’ll learn a bit. The second is a teen (Makenna). Yes, a teen, and that one brings on a whole bunch of different challenges. Boundaries will be pushed and civil war will ensue. In the end you will part ways.
The third one will be the one where you get it right. You may not believe it but at first you won’t be 100% on board. I can safely say it’s just being gun shy from the first two. In the end though it is the perfect fit. Saucy is exactly what her name says she is. She is a ball of energy and excitement. Full of knowledge, cookies, and a love for spelunking. She will prove to be a constant throughout your time there. A thread that ties almost everything together. One other thing, she will lead you to a son (Panze!), who ends up being one of your best friends over time. You still talk to them both to this day and probably will for the rest of your life.
Blogging will become something that translates over from real life to Second Life for you. It doesn’t happen immediately but it is vital to you. You will spend time honing your craft, improving your photos, and constantly questioning your use of commas. Through blogging you will have the opportunity to work with some exceptional people (Ocean, all the models/photographers/bloggers I’ve worked with over my time here.) Don’t take that for granted. Remember though in anything you do make sure you do it because you enjoy it. If you don’t, think about it, and make the changes you need to make.
In the end I just want you to know that there is a lot out there. You’re going to question a lot of things that are going to happen. There will be amazing moments and moments that hurt like a knife to the heart. Each one has a purpose. I didn’t know that then but I do know it now. Don’t change. When it comes down to it you’ll do just fine.
With all that being said here is my challenge to you. If you could write a letter to your Second Life self what would you say? Would you want them to do things differently or would you keep it all as it is? I’ll be curious to find out.
Head: CATWA HEAD Victor [SL Neck] v3.1 ~ Catwa Clip
Head Applier: Clef de Peau.Clef de Peau.Oscar T4 [CATWA] ~ Marcopol Oh
Hair: lock&tuft – frank v1 ~ AlyxxBanks Resident
Hairbase: Stealthic – Male Hairbase ~ Stealthic Resident
Brows: IDTTY Faces – CATWA Appliers [Devilish Eyebrows] CUT ~ Melissa Hindrabar
Ears: [MANDALA]STEKING_EARS_Season5 ~ Kikunosuke Eel
Eyes: IKON Odyssey Eyes – Emerald ~ Ikon Innovia
Beard: GA EG – Magnificent [MF] Victor Bento Hipster Stache & Beard Medium – Night ~ ElleEtGance Resident ~ NEW @ Man Cave (Mar 10 – Apr 1)
Body: Slink Physique MALE Mesh Body V2.04 ~ Siddean Munro
Body Applier: Clef de Peau.Body Tight T4 [Slink] ~ Marcopol Oh
Vault: Abiss the Vault – standard edition ~ Frash Boa
All pictures on the floor: MnB_Canvas_mesh ~ Marley Blogfan
Tables: Abiss Vault Table ~ Frash Boa
Clover: [LXIII] Package 2014
Bag: XIII Bag 2011
Cheez-itz: Cheez-itz ~ Taco Fackler
Award: [Commoner] Star of Fame / Best Husband ~ GACHA ~ Emery Milneaux
Tardis: [LJ] Artisan Cookie Jar – #02 Police Box RARE ~ GACHA ~ Tala Laval
Adoption Certificates: MnB_Canvas_mesh ~ Marley Blogfan
Plant 1: *HEXtraordinary* Flutterfly Bush – Blue ~ Corwin Lacourte
Plant 2: *HEXtraordinary* : Cranky Baby Mandrake ~ Corwin Lacourte
Frames (Left): Fancy Decor: Large Frame Group ~ Jake Vordun
Seats: ASTARO Theater Seat 1 ~ Ac14 Hutson
Map: [Commoner] (P)in Love / World Map ~ Emery Milneaux
Bust: meadowWorks Anubis Portrait Bust ~ The Golden Delta ~ Garvie Garzo ~ FF 2016
Rubix: [tea.s] Puzzle Cube Chair – Mixed ~ Tea Soup
Laptop: Apple Fall ‘iFall’ Notebook 2015 ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Books 1: Apple Fall Books ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Books 2: Apple Fall Tied Books ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Coffee/Muffin: Apple Fall Coffee & Muffin ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Saucy Book: Saucy Marie Spiritor Portfolio ~ Saucy Wizenheim/LilyNeeAnne Hilite
Posters leaning: .random.Matter. – Nerd Haven – Poster [DPS]/[Healer]/[Tank] ~ GACHA ~ Nikohl Hax
Banner: ~Isil~ Banner ~ Beth Delaunay (Texture is mine)
Big Clover: Lucky & Pink Wedding clover ~ ArchaicXIII Resident
Polaroid Heart: Apple Fall Heart of Polaroids Advent No. 3 ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Mushroom: A.D.D.Andel! Mushroom Lamp-Red ~ Andel Rhiadra
Pipe: A.D.D.Andel! Pipe Wastebasket -Green ~ Andel Rhiadra
Big Cake: Lucky and Portia’s Wedding Cake ~ Portia Pexington
Smaller Cake: Lucky Cake ~ Portia Pexington
Stools for Flowers: Fancy Decor: Wire Stool ~ Jake Vordun
Square Stool: Apple Fall Cottage Dining Stool ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Flowers: Apple Fall Wild Thistles ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Flowers: 8. Apple Fall Roses Jug ~ GACHA ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Flowers: The Loft – Bacall Bowl of Roses Espresso ~ Nardya Rousselot
Flowers: ARIA & The Loft – Phelan Vase With Hydrageneas ~ Lo Uriza
Flowers: Ariskea [ Terre Automne ] Baby breath Autumn with Doilie ~ GACHA ~ Diaxm Resident
Flowers: The Loft & ARIA – Winslow Wrapped Tulips ~ Lo Uriza
Flowers: The Loft & ARIA – Winslow Potted Amaryllis ~ Lo Uriza
Flowers: Ariskea [Le Secret] Sping Flower Pot Yellow ~ GACHA ~ Diaxm Resident
Flowers: dust bunny . storybook living . fresh bouquet ~ GACHA ~ lxlNoel Resident
Flowers: Apple Fall Hydrangea Bunch ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Flowers: *Funky*Junk* Small Pot of Red Roses ~ Ulaa Coronet
Flowers: [ARIA] Bella Vase With Roses ~ Lo Uriza
Flowers: dust bunny . dahlia jug ~ GACHA ~ lxlNoel Resident
Flowers: *Funky*Junk* Watering Can of Daisies ~ Ulaa Coronet
Flowers: Apple Fall Daffodils Jug ~ GACHA ~ Warehousefifteendesigns
Flowers: MudHoney Priya Carnations ~ Rayvn Hynes
Flowers: ARIA & The Loft Devon Lily bouquet ~ Lo Uriza
Fort Table: 22769 ~ [bauwerk] The Ruins in the North – RARE GACHA ~ Paco Pooley
Pyramid Table: 22769 ~ [bauwerk] The Pyramid – COMMON GACHA ~ Paco Pooley
Rocks Table: 22769 ~ [bauwerk] The Home of the Iron People – COMMON GACHA ~ Paco Pooley
Wall signs: (Balls/ToTooTwo/ILuhYou ~ ArchaicXIII Resident (If you want them just let me know lol)
Wall Poster 1: Kaylee’s Poster ~ ArchaicXIII Resident
Wall Poster 2:  bh  – driver picks the music poster ~ Heath Pevensey
NES Table: NES Controller Table ~ Panzersauce Resident
Pokémon: NAM’s freebies – MewSmooth -.8 ~ Larien Snowpaw
Heart 1: Ava Heart – Sweet Heart ~ Portia Pexington
Heart 2: Ava Heart – Lucky In Love ~ ArchaicXIII Resident
Heart 3: Ava Heart – Cute As A Button Heart ~ Abernathy Button
Egg: *Figment* Dragon Egg with Stand-Blue ~ DreamFantasia Nightfire
Snowflakes: Custom Work ~ ArchaicXIII Resident
Pillows: [Commoner] Monogram Throw Pillow / L | [Commoner] Monogram Throw Pillow / P ~ GACHA ~ Emery Milneaux