I’ve Been Searching For Some Chords Underneath These Hands

“You got the universe swimming in your eyes
I’m an open book when you look in mine
You’ll find that I was put here to love you“
Andy Grammer – I Am Yours

I do need to say I’ve had ideas for posts/pictures lately, but I’m missing an important part to making those happen so for now they wait. But I do have plans to do something interesting and a plan for a post with some of my good friends. I need to work out times and such for that. What this downtime did allow me to do is write something else that was in my head, in a way, we all know I write whatever I want anyway. But this one is more focused than a lot of what I put down. Also, yes I used Andy Grammer again and no it’s not the song I talked about the last time I picked a song of his. This one is new and really hit home with me so here it is.

I’ve been in and seen my fair share of Second Life relationships. The good ones, the bad ones, the ugly ones, and even the ones that never should have been. I’ve seen people I know get hurt in the worst ways because of them and I’ve seen them hurt people themselves. Hell I’ve been on both sides of it so I’m no exception to any of it. From what I’ve experienced people are curious about the ones that work and why they work, especially in unique circumstances. I won’t delve into those because everyone’s business and choices are their own but we all follow different guidelines. Some work out, some don’t. I’ve often questioned why some didn’t work for me and really in the end they just didn’t because it wasn’t right. Some for reasons I understood, some for reasons I didn’t understand, and some just because they were doomed from the get go.

We live in a world where people are millions of different ways. Some care about others, some only about themselves, some try to demolish things, others try to fix everything. I admire the idea of people who want to fix anything and everything. It’s an admirable thing to want, but I’ve learned that it’s an impossible mindset to maintain. Not everything has a fix and it’s understanding that being fact that becomes the hardest thing for the fixers of the world to grasp. They -want- more than anything to make everything work, to fix that situation, to fix this place, to fix that person, and sometimes you just can’t. The flip side of that is as a fixer, you can’t blame yourself for someone else’s choice there. The odds are the fixer tried, maybe more than once, and it just doesn’t happen. That’s ok. It’s going to happen and more often than not too.

In the last year I myself went from swearing off staying single to trying a relationship out. The one that I tried was the doomed kind. I was sure of my choices and went back on them, and in doing so jumped the gun. It wasn’t right and it failed. After that Aria and I started to talk and we talked a lot before anything went anywhere. I’m not sure I have ever talked to someone that much in such a short amount of time. What started out as hoping to have a date that I wanted for Prom turned into more and I think she would say the same. Neither of us expected things to work out as they have, but the things least you expect often surprise you the most.

At the same time I’ve had friends of mine who’s relationships have had rough patches. They were the kind of relationship that both were willing to fight for and in doing so resolved things that had come between them. I’ve had friends who’ve had their relationships ripped away in the worst kind of way. What I’m saying is be present in the here and now. The past is the past for a reason, and none of us knows the future. All we have is now. Communicate, talk to your people, talk to new people, remember that it’s not just about you. I say that knowing full well even I have things I can work on there.

I’ve talked about going outside of the box or breaking the glass a lot here. Most of the time it’s been in regards to blogging or taking photos which is fitting because that’s what I do. But it applies in life too. We get comfortable with things and when we get comfortable most people tend to let things slip a bit. Maybe it’s their relationship, maybe it’s maintaining friendships, or missing the forest for the trees. My current relationship has worked because we went outside of the box. Both outside of our normal social circles that we would usually stay in. Neither of us knew if it would go anywhere beyond the first conversation, but it did. If either of us didn’t respond then it never even gets to start. Because we both tried, it ended up working and here we are today. No regrets here.

Believe that you have value on your own, that you don’t need someone else to give you your worth. You’re bigger than the little box or circle that you’re in. But the first step is believing it yourself. I know you have to do it yourself and I know how hard that can be. It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to others about it or lean on them if you need to. But you have to believe it yourself or nothing they say is going to change things. Believe me I’ve been there more than a few times. Life hasn’t been all roses and sunshine, there have been very dark days, but I’m still here. You take the good with the bad and you make the best of what you have.

I’ll pull from my RL here a little bit because it’s fitting for this. My grandmother used to always make everything in a BIG issue. It could have been the most minute of things, something that had almost no influence on any outcome, and yet she’d freak out to the point of breaking down. I never understood it and to be honest I still don’t. It seriously took some health issues to make her see that sometimes you just have to let the little shit go. When you do that life gets a lot better. It comes back to being a fixer, fixers are great, but you can’t fix something else if you don’t fix yourself right? Find who you are and then go forward from there.

“I am yours now and always
Wouldn’t dream to be anything more
You take my breath away every night
Still can’t believe it when you say you’re mine
And I am yours, I am yours, I am yours“
Andy Grammer – I Am Yours

Credits:

Pose: [Dorey] PianoMan Pose ~ Doreyshop Resident

Head: CATWA HEAD Victor [SL Neck] v3.2 ~ Catwa Clip
Head Applier: Clef de Peau.Janis T3 [CATWA] ~ Marcopol Oh ~ NEW @ ACCESS (Jun 12-Jul 7)
Hair: Stealthic – Haunting (Brown) ~ Stealthic Resident
Hairbase: Stealthic – Male Hairbase ~ Stealthic Resident
Brows: Clef de Peau.Eyebrows v.32 Brown Omega [CATWA] Applier ~ Marcopol Oh
Ears: ^^Swallow^^ Pyramid Ears ~ Luciayes Magic
Eyes: Avi-Glam. Aurora Eyes – Nymph ~ Kendra Parfort
Beard: [MF] Victor Bento Hipster Stache & Beard – Sun ~ Stefandetoifrench75 Janus
Body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (m) (1.1) ~ MeshBody Resident
Tattoo: {Speakeasy} – Mint ~ Jamie Moon ~ NEW @ Dubai (Jun 20-Jul 10)

Jacket: [Deadwool] Genoa jacket – glaucous blue ~ Masa Plympton
Pants: <Kalback> Original Jeans M5_Fullpack ~ Patrix Beck
Boots: [VALE KOER] WATERBUCK BOOTS ~ Bob Resident ~ NEW @ N21 (Jun 21-Jul 12)

~Scene~

Backdrop: SEMPITERNAL [The Coronation] Skybox  ~ Max1ma Resident
Piano: ACORN 14. Indulge Me Grand Piano RARE ~ GACHA ~ Lulu Rage
Piano Bench: ACORN 13. Indulge Me Piano Stool ~ GACHA ~ Lulu Rage